I don’t just mean sex, but kissing and I think even hand holding. Attempting a kiss can make a Japanese person think you are only interested in sex or a physical relationship and not a serious or romantic relationship. For example, often a Westerner will want to kiss someone they are seeing and the Easterner doesn’t want to be kissed yet.The Westerner will think the Easterner isn’t interested in a relationship with him/her.From my understanding the Japanese do not see it that way.Also to be noted is that no physical intimacy occurs until after becoming boyfriend and girlfriend.If the other returns those feelings, then they become boyfriend and girlfriend.The relationship then proceeds as relationships between boyfriends and girlfriends do. At the point of kokuhaku is where we consider two people to begin dating.This isn’t a hard and fast rule, but more of a rule of thumb.Being in a group diffuses the pressure and allows each party to take stock of the company the other keeps.
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Saying those words makes the thing real and in the open.I’m going to start out with a disclaimer: Every person- and consequently every situation- is different. I am going off of my experience and some discussions with my Japanese friends and friends who have lengthy experience with the culture.I’m sure people can find exceptions to what I am putting forth as general rules. Additionally, I am a man, so all of my understanding comes from the perspective of a man.Obviously how soon they are willing to have sex after becoming boyfriend and girlfriend is based on the individual.